walking alone as a woman

A few weeks ago, I was walking to meet my friend at 7.30pm on December 16th. First term had finished and Christmas break had finally begun; and with three agonizingly painful assignments submitted at last, I was eager for three weeks of rest and home cooked food. As the train halted at my stop, I got off, and with my headphones firmly pressed into my ears, my two bags crammed with essential belongings, I walked alone.

I must have been in my hometown for a mere ten minutes when a hard grasp caught my shoulder, and a young man in a white hood stood before me, mumbling. Thinking he was a homeless man asking for change, I removed one headphone from my ear to catch his inaudible slur.

“Excuse me?” I asked.  

“Sex.” He said.

I froze, not really making sense of what was happening.

“Let’s have sex.” He said again as he grabbed my shoulder and pushed me back.

I can’t remember precisely what went through my head, other than realising that he was undoubtedly stoned by his reddish, heavy eyes. I remember thinking about what I was wearing: it was winter. I was wearing a jumper, a long coat and jeans. I was fully covered - but I was openly alone.

Now it may have been seen a repulsive blessing in disguise, but the man seemed too high and full of drugs to actually grasp what he was doing. His face was lethargic and sluggish, and eventually, after me telling him where to go multiple times, he left me alone and stumbled in the opposite direction. I was left dazed and stunned, but untouched. I felt lucky that nothing had happened. I remember feeling fortunate to not be another statistic. I was lucky because he didn’t sexually assault me. But whilst the event passed, I started to reflect: why should I feel lucky to not be sexually assaulted? Why should I feel blessed to be left untouched after walking somewhere on my own?

Sexual assault is an element that terribly comes with society, but it was admittedly not something I thought of often because it just never happened to me or thankfully to anyone I knew. I regularly walked alone in Bath after I’d finished a late shift at work and never thought twice because well, why should I? Why are a voluminous amount of women greeted by catcalling and fear as they walk alone every day? It’s a sad reality that has almost become the norm - and sadly, women live with in a world where we're taught to be wary of the men around us. I recently watched a video which perfectly illustrates the experience that happens to most women walking alone at night - watch it here.

“The fact is that even the word “Beautiful” coming from a strange man in the street when I’m walking alone makes me think that I may be about to be raped. The fear is always there. The fact that I have a plan in place to try to avoid or solve the situation if a man is following me when I’m walking alone is in itself pretty evident of this reality.” Aleanbh Ní Chearnaigh. Read 'What It Feels Like To Walk Alone As A Female' here.

1 in 5 women aged 16 - 59 has experienced some form of sexual violence since the age of 16 whilst Only around 15% of those who experience sexual violence choose to report to the police. (rapecrisis.org.uk)

Of course, not all men are sexual predators, and a large amount of the men (normally the majority) that we indisputably fear and feel wary of as we walk home alone are likewise, simply making their way home as well. All I want from this post is to bring some awareness to light. Sexual assault does happen and it's not openly talked about as much as it should be. But maybe more importantly, women fearing men on a lonely walk home shouldn't be the norm, women and men should be able to walk their streets freely and safely.

I shouldn't feel lucky, because sexual assault just shouldn't happen.

Don't suffer in silence:

Rapecrisis.org